Greed is good - when you have nothing. It is terrible when you have enough.

How much is too much? This question applies to more than greed. How much is too much Love? Safety? Fear? These are things you will learn on your journey. On your search for the truth. The idea that greed is good is one of the most insidious half truths that you will confront in life. You need things to survive. You must eat. You must drink. You must sleep. You must breath. Life isn't just about surviving however. To be fulfilled you must also love and laugh. Greed will not bring you any of these things. Generosity will.

You have wanted many things growing up. Some I have been able to provide, others not. I sometimes chided you for wanting too much. I was wrong. It is okay to want things in life. I've seen the trouble that excess can bring and felt the need to protect you from it. I would often guide you back to the safety of mediocrity. I don't want that for you either. I want you to choose fantastic! I want you to be the best you can be. As long as you can lift others up rather than tear them down.

I want you to remember that it is okay to go after what you want in life. Just make sure you give more than you receive. It is not what you have accumulated that will matter in the end, but the lives you touched along the way.

Generosity is giving.  It can be the most selfish act of all.

How can giving be selfish?  Giving will provide you great joy.  It is an expression of your love. The most generous gifts you can give are your time, attention and understanding.  These are the gifts that will be remembered.

I remember when you got your puppies.  I didn't expect you to burst into tears like you did.  It was the first time I witnessed your tears of joy.  It was a moment of truth I'll never forget.  I didn't realize it at the time, but your tears were not motivated by the love you had just received.  Rather they were motivated by the love you could now give.  I had given you something to love.

Prior to that moment, my focus was on more practical things.  Who would walk the dogs?  Who would care for them when we went on vacation? Never did I stop to think that this was a need, and not a want.  They are now a part of our family in every respect.

I want you to remember to be mindful about what you are giving.  It may not always be what you expect.  A gift might give a lot more than expected or, if unreciprocated, turn into a gift of guilt.  If you want to give a gift, be discrete.  Your love will always be the greatest gift of all.

Emotions record what is important in life.  They are the purest part of you.

How can I learn to control my emotions?  Don't.  If you're sad, cry.  If you're happy, smile.  If you are angry, do something constructive.  Others will try and teach you when, where, and how it is appropriate to exhibit your emotions.  This is wrong.  Feel how you feel, when you are feeling it.  Envy. Jealousy. Anger. These might sound like negative emotions, but they're not.  They are just emotions.  It's what you do with these feelings that matters.

This is the area that I have failed you the most.  Teaching you to "suck-it-up" when you were sad. Telling you to be happy when you were mad.   I remember the day you lost the class election.  You were so upset.  I saw you choking back the tears.  My first inclination was to try to cheer you up.  I reminded you that you didn't expect to win.  I tried to convince you that you were better off.   I'm sorry.  I was misguided.  I understand that now.  You just needed time.

I want you to remember to be honest about how you're feeling.  Your emotions record what is important in life.  Share them with the ones you love.  Your emotions are the closest you will get to the truth.  Emotions can lead you to be incredibly hurtful and destructive, or they can move you to greatness.  It's your choice. Your most important experiences will be emotional ones.  You can recognize them easily.  They will make you laugh and make you cry.  Emotional experiences are a brief glimpse of the truth.  They will stay with you whether you want them to or not.

Inspiration is the seed from which all hope springs.  It arrives when you recognize the truth.

Where can I find inspiration?  Inspiration will come to you in silence.  Find a place to be in silence.

Inspiration is fleeting, so grab on to it with both hands before it is lost to distraction.  Write it down.  Paint it. Film it.  Dance it.  Do whatever you can to capture it.  

Some of my fondest memories are of watching you create.  Whether is was watching you cook, creating a duct tape wallet for your friends, or spending hours on a Halloween costume. I enjoyed it even though I had no idea what was driving you.  Only you knew.

I want you to remember to listen to your little voice inside.  Particularly when it seemingly appears from nowhere.  It is there to help you, teach you, guide you.  Your little voice may be telling you it's time to do a mundane chore.  It may be telling you to be kind to a stranger.  It may be telling you to create something that will inspire millions one day.  If you follow your heart and act on inspiration, you will find success.

Education is what others give to you so that you may learn from their experience.

What education should I pursue?  Not all education is good.  Society may provide you an education so that you have the basic building blocks to contribute.  Unfortunately, it often becomes about spewing back the "right" answers rather than pursuing the truth.  If you pursue the truth and ask the right questions, you won't have to worry about finding the best educational institution.  They will find you.

Before you seek an education from others, be sure to ask yourself what the answer is.  It doesn't mean that you're always right, but if you don't already believe in something you're more likely to fall for anything.  If what they are offering doesn't sound right, keep asking questions.  The universe is full of half truths.  Education may broaden your perspective or it may narrow it.  Education may open doors and bring you wealth and social status, but leave you feeling empty and questioning your choices.

I remember one day before school you were tired and frustrated.  You said "Why do I have to learn all of this stuff anyway?  It's not like it's useful information."  You were right.  But rather than tell you so, I began giving one of my pep talks about how your education is what you make of it.  "Your education can be a dull drudgery, or the best experience of your life.  Choose fantastic!" I exclaimed.  This was not a lie, but a half truth at best.

I want you to remember to pursue an education from those who are succeeding in your eyes.   Take all the education that is offered to you, and then some,   But never forget that it's the truth that really matters.   Your best education, and the rewards that come with it, will always come from pursing the truth and helping others.

Maturity comes from your experience.  You are where you are.  Embrace it.

How will I know when I have reached maturity? Part of maturity is learning that it's not all about you. It's not about having the right answers, it's more about pursuing the right questions. 

From the day you were born you have been pursuing the truth.  No one had to teach you to search for it.  You just did.  You came equipped with all of the experiences of those who came before you.  All of their emotional experiences recorded in your genes.  There are many who have tried to guide you in this journey.  Some with good intentions.  Some with bad. Some with no intentions at all.  We called this guidance your education.  Even though my intentions were usually good, I failed miserably at times .  My motivation was mostly out of my need to protect you.  You will understand this if you become a parent one day.

I want you to remember to cherish where you currently are in life.  Don't try to rush your maturity.  There are many wonderful experiences ahead of you.  Many I haven't had.  Skipping ahead in a rush to maturity will leave you feeling empty and pursuing lost opportunity.

Perspective is the world through your eyes.  Your perspective is based on your experience.  It's what you see, hear, smell, taste and most importantly how you feel.

How do I know if I have the right perspective?

There is no "right" perspective.  Only perspective.  Your perspective will become richer as you gain experience, however it is dangerous to equate your perspective with the truth.  Regardless of the amount of experience you have, regardless of how much education you have, regardless how close you come, never be arrogant enough to say you possess the truth. The truth exists, but you only have perspective.

I remember the day you came home from school and told me about a girl in your your class who thought 1 + 1 should equal eleven.  You were quite proud of the fact that you knew this not to be the case.  Your experience had taught you that the answer to the equation was in fact two.  But what did that knowledge give you?  After discussing it for a while, you began to appreciate how someone else could see it that way.  You gained perspective.

I want you to remember to value your own perspective and share it with the ones you love - even if it hurts.  They will know that you are motivated by love.  They will know it's because you care.  They will know that you have their back.  They will know that you're on their side.  You may not have the full picture.  You may even be wrong.  Even so, holding back your perspective  will only lead to regret.

For those you know less well, be cautious about offering your perspective.  Even if others ask for it.  You will find that they are often more interested in sharing theirs.

Success is not wealth.  Success is not fame.  Wealth and admiration only serve to destroy your inspiration and lead you to believe you are more important than you really are.

How can I be successful?  Ask questions.  Listen to your little  voice inside.  It is there to guide you toward success and away from danger.

The greatest achievement in my my life is you.  The joy you bring to me is beyond measurement.  My most joyful memories of you are the small things.  The times where you showed me the simplest answer to a problem I was having.  Like the time I was trying to configure a way for the dog to eat while he was wearing his protective cone.  He had been licking his paw to the point it was raw.  I was trying to create an elevated bowl so that his cone would fit around it.  It wasn't working.  I knew he was very hungry but he resisted my solution.  You walked up to me and said "Why don't you just take off the cone while he eats?"  I bursted out laughing.  Of course, I thought.  He won't be licking his paw if he is eating.

I want you to remember to always keep your focus on your work, not the rewards.  Pursue the truth.  Others may love you.  Others may hate you.  You may be showered with rewards.  You may not be.  Understand that you do not need wealth and admiration to be happy.  You will likely be happier with less.  So use whatever gifts that do come your way to help others.  Success is helping others.

Fear can save your life or render it meaningless.

How do I know when to be afraid?  Never fear pursuing the truth.  If your motives are pure, no harm will come.

I remember one day we were at the bike park learning new skills.  I wanted you to try something I thought was relatively simple, but you refused.  You were afraid.  I didn't understand why.  It was easy, I thought.  "Come on, don't be such a chicken", I said.  "Nope", you replied, handing me your bike.  "Okay", I said.  "You want me to show you?".  My first attempt resulted in failure, and my second resulted in a blown-out calf muscle that took a month to heal.   You saw that I was hurt and felt bad,  "Don't", I said.  "You were right".  It was a painful lesson for me, but one that never made me feel more proud of you.

I want you to remember to choose hope over fear. Pursue what is in your heart, even if you don't understand why. When it comes to fear, value the perspective of those you love, but still listen to that little voice inside.  Don't worry about making mistakes along the way.  You will make mistakes and you will learn from them.  The worse thing you can do is stop trying.

Art is when the soul speaks.  It is any act of creation that isn't externally motivated.

What is Art?  Art isn't defined by its product, it is defined by your motivation.  If someone told you to make it, it is not Art.  If you made it for money, it is not Art.  If you made it for fame or recognition, it is not Art.  If you made it because that little voice inside of you told you to, and you had no choice in the matter, it is Art.  Art is not a thing.  It's when the soul speaks.

Before you were born, I remember driving on a long trip with a dear friend discussing the definition of Art.  She was the first Artist I really knew.  It was a very passionate and animated conversation.  What exactly was Art?  What wasn't it?  I wanted the answers so badly.  I wanted to be the one who correctly defined Art.  I now recognize how narcissistic that was.  It was not for me to define.  My friend is now a respected Artist who is constantly creating.  I'm still inspired by her today.

I want you to remember that being called an Artist is the highest compliment.   "Artist" isn't a term you should use to describe yourself however.  It tells them nothing.  Your work will speak for itself if you are pursuing the truth.

If you want to show someone else the utmost respect, you may call them an Artist. 

If the truth hurts, let it hurt.  If the truth scars, let it scar.  If the truth is that painful, we have a lot of work to do.

What is the truth?  The truth is something you'll never fully find.  But that doesn't mean you shouldn't spend your life pursuing it.

 I remember in the middle of one of my pep talks, I noticed you were getting angry.  You trembled with frustration.  "What's wrong?" I asked.  "Nothing", you replied.  You either wouldn't or couldn't tell me.  I wasn't sure which one.  The only thing I did know, was that I had gone too far.  "I'm sorry", I said.  I wanted to explain my motivation, but I knew that would only lead to another lecture.

I want you to remember to always pursue the truth.  It's not always easy.  The truth is often painful to ourselves and others.  Others may come to you seeking the truth.  It is not yours to give.  You only have your perspective to offer.  They must find the truth for themselves.

The truth exists, and the pursuit of it will give meaning to your life.

(Thank you Laura for granting permission to use your hauntingly beautiful photo.)

We are surrounded by temptation.  It grows with each passing day.

How can I avoid temptation? A life without temptation isn't a life worth living.  We are given choices.  Choices between work and distraction, knowledge and ignorance, pleasure and pain.  You will be tempted to choose the easy path, but the easy path will often leave you with less.

The more you have, the more temptation you will have to confront.  The more you give, the less you will be tempted.

Your temptations have been relatively minor up to this point.  Part of me wishes it could stay that way.  You're going to face some big decisions ahead.  You will learn from each one.  Regret will be your scar and joy will be your reward.

I want you to remember that it's okay to be tempted.  It's what makes life interesting.  You mustn't worry about always choosing the correct path.  Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes and to learn from them.  The truth will confront you eventually.  Pay attention when it does.

Distractions give you a break from the daily stress of life. You would go mad without them. Problems start when you begin to value pleasure more than the truth.  Distractions can lead you to waste your most precious resource in life  - Time.

How can I recognize a distraction?  There are too many distractions to list.  Some are more destructive than others. Some can even lead to a life of addiction and pain. One thing that they have in common is that they don't leave you with much.

I spoke to you about distraction a lot while you were growing up. Perhaps more than any other topic.  Video games were your favorite distraction.  I tried my best to steer you away from them. Usually because I thought you had had enough. I realize I wasn't always right.  I wanted you to recognize that your time here is limited. I wanted you to use that precious resource to acquire new skills, knowledge, and understanding. Things that would allow you to express yourself and help others.

I want you to remember to enjoy life, but not too much.  If your life is merely the pursuit of pleasure, you will likely find yourself alone and leaving us too soon.  You have more to offer this world than self indulgence.  Focus on the work you feel driven to do, and try your best to have a good time doing it.

Whether you end up in prison or become a famous celebrity, your time here is defined by the relationships you have.  We are all put on earth to get to know each other.

How do you build healthy relationships?  Trust. Respect. Understanding.
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From the moment you were born, you looked for the loving arms of your mother.  Luckily for me, I was there too.  I was amazed that after all you had just been through, all you wanted to do was to stare into our eyes.  I cried.

I want you to remember that each time you meet a new person, they'll be measuring you up.  They'll be trying to decide if you are a person they can trust.  If you don't earn their trust, you'll never get the opportunity to earn their respect.  If you don't earn their respect, they'll never really get the chance to understand you.  And that is the ultimate goal - to be understood.  When words aren't even necessary.  They just "get" you.

Community is how we come together.  Whether it's religion, politics, geography, or simply an interest.  Communities are united by a common perspective.

Who should I follow?  Follow the truth.  It will  lead you to the right people and places.

Communities are a place to learn who you are, and who you are not.  You should find comfort and acceptance within your community.  It should be a place where you are understood. Where you can let your guard down.  Where you are accepted for who you are. 

Your family was your first community.

I remember when you first joined the Scouts.  You made some friends and learned new skills.  Perhaps most important, you tried new things.  Things beyond my experience.  There were times I was unsure.  Times I worried about your safety.  But there was no denying the joy you experienced and knowledge you gained.  I am grateful for what they gave you, and did not take.

I want you to remember to embrace people outside your community.  You still have much to discover.  Take pride in the perspective that you share, but do not believe it makes you superior.  You are not.  No group possesses the truth. They just share a perspective. Your community will divide as people strive to find the truth.  Some will believe they have. Others will carry on.  Deciding which to do is one of the most difficult decisions we all eventually face.

Politics establishes the boundaries of our relationships.  Whether the community is as large as the world, or as small as your family, you will have to deal with politics.

Why is there so much discord in politics?  Everyone brings their perspective to politics.  There are those who believe they possess the truth, and others who think there is no truth.  The rest just try to make sense of it all.  The truth is hard.  It is so apparent, yet so difficult to understand. 

You will meet people of many political perspectives in life.  Some see the world as black and white, good and evil, right and wrong. Regardless what we call these people, they have chosen a path to help them solve problems.  These people are often quick to make judgments.   The certainty of their belief allows them to move forward.  On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who see the world as shades of grey.  They are eager to consider the perspective of others.  They understand that they do not possess the truth.  But some go as far as to deny that truth exists.  To them, there is only perspective.  These people are often kind and considerate, but can be judgmental towards the intolerant.  They seek understanding, but get lost in all the possibilities.  

You were subjected to a lot of politics growing up.  You didn't find it interesting, but you just couldn't avoid it. It was always present in the background.  I remember the day you asked me why I watched the news so much.  You saw that it was important to me, and felt that you needed to have a political perspective yourself.  I can't remember exactly what you decided after we talked,  Perhaps you didn't. This was not your first foray into politics however. You had to deal with the daily politics inside our family. Negotiating your rights. Finding the boundaries.  I made it my mission that, regardless of the challenges we faced, you always knew that any boundaries were motivated by love.

I want you to remember that it takes all kinds of people to build a community.  There is no correct perspective when it comes to politics.  It's just the perspective you choose to find your way.  No perspective is above corruption. The path to solving problems in life is never a clear one.  Do not lose hope.  Be patient.  Consider the perspective of others, then act on the truth when you see it.  

We all make mistakes, but it is whether we learn from them that matters.

All problems, big and small, started with someone uttering three simple words "it doesn't matter".  It may not matter to you at that particular moment, but it will matter to someone eventually. Granted, you cannot be responsible for all outcomes, but you should always take responsibility for your actions.

Some mistakes cannot be corrected.  There are some things that are lost and can never be retrieved.  These moments will fill you with regret. For the others, acknowledge your error, apologize to those affected, and move on.  Dwelling on mistakes is not a good thing, whatever the motive.  The bigger the mistake you overcome, the more others will respect you for it.

I remember when I dropped you.  You were only three months old and I put you in your car seat without latching it. I'll never forget that awful sound of you hitting the pavement.  Thank goodness it was followed by the loudest cry a few seconds later.  I rushed you into the nursing station and spent the next few hours doing my best to console you - while internally beating myself up over my stupidity.  I may not have uttered the three words, but I obviously thought them at some point.

I want you to remember not to hide your mistakes.  Embrace them, learn from them and - when appropriate - laugh at them.  They are inevitable and, as long as you are sincere about making amends, people will usually forgive you.  Keep focused on your goal, and embrace the truth - even if it hurts.

Acceptance is taking the world as it is, not as you want it to be.

We all like to think of ourselves as accepting, but it is a lot harder than we realize. Especially when it comes to accepting those who are selfish, intolerant, and full of hate.

How far must I go in accepting others?  I cannot answer this for you.  You will learn this on your journey.  The main thing to keep in mind, is to allow people to think what they want. We are all entitled to our perspective, 

I've always thought of myself as accepting - at least until someone disagreed with me.

I began to see things differently one day after a dinner at your uncle's house.  Our whole extended family was there. Young and old. Rich and poor. People from other places.  Some had faith, others did not.  I asked the question, If I do not accept the intolerance of others, does that not also make me intolerant?  They responded with an unequivocal "No".  I was asked in return, Are you going to just "accept" someone trying to kill you?  Are you going to "accept" someone teaching your children to hate?  My immediate reaction was no.  But then I suddenly realized the hypocrisy of intolerance towards the intolerant.  I saw it clearly for the first time. If I do not accept their views - no matter how hateful or vile they may appear to me - how do I not become the intolerant one myself?  Am I always right? Do I possess the truth?  Accepting the views of those you agree with is easy. It is in times that we don't agree, that we need to be accepting the most.

I want you to remember that their rights end where yours begin.  Do not allow anyone to hurt you or cause physical injury to others.  If they preach hate, show love.  If they demonstrate intolerance, respond with understanding. To accept others doesn't mean that you agree with them.  Educate them through your example, rather than reinforcing their beliefs with your reaction. Remember that we are all a product of our experience, and that you too have felt intolerance or even hatred at one time or another.  The person you see before you, is not the person they will always be.  If they mean physical harm, restrain them.

Beauty is the truth reflected back to you.

What is beautiful? Beauty cannot be defined. It is dependent on your perspective. 

Beauty will inspire you. It is often what we see as lacking in ourselves or our surroundings. Beauty can be recognized instantly, or be appreciated over time. It should never be denied.

Beauty will bring you things and opportunity in life, but it can also attract attention not desired.  Some covet beauty and want to possess it. We often destroy the things we love when we try to possess them. Beauty has much meaning and can lead to unwarranted respect. This can exaggerate one's pride.

You are beautiful.

I want you to remember to pursue and appreciate beauty, but never try to possess it. Make the most of what you have been given, and try not to compare yourself to others. Beauty will represent health and wellness to most, but be envied and reviled by others. You cannot concern yourself with what others consider beautiful. If you are honest, sincere, and passionate about who you are and what you do, your beauty will shine through.

Judgments allow us to make decisions.  We all judge.  We are all judged.

Can I avoid judging others? Nobody likes to think of themselves as being judgemental, but we are.  Some of our judgments are positive, some negative. Whether it is conscious or not, you are making decisions every second of every day.  Whether it's about what to do with your time, or deciding who you respect, there are a myriad of issues you judge.

You can be taught to hate, or learn to love.  Your judgements will come from your experience and education.

I know you've felt the pain of judgment.  I remember the day you told me you were not in the popular group.  I can't remember what we discussed, but you worked through it with dignity and respect.  I'm sure it was painful for you, but pain is an important part of growth.  I am impressed with how you handled it.  

I want you to remember that it is okay to judge.  Just understand that everything around us is in motion, including your perspective. Judge yourself first.  Pursue the truth.  Do not be deterred by the judgments of others.  Be accepting.

Life is your chance.  Your chance to act.  Your chance to play. Your chance to show the world what you can do.

What is the meaning of life? You will find meaning by pursuing the truth.

Too much truth can drive you mad. Too much distraction will lead you to despair.  As with most things, life is about finding the right balance and always moving forward.

I remember when you appeared in the school play.  It was so much better than I expected.  You were great.  Just as I expect you will be in life.  You gave it your all.  You prepared as best as you could, but still there were some unexpected moments.  Moments of unexpected laughter, and even some moments of embarrassment.

Life is a lot like a play.  The most memorable parts often involve conflict or tragedy or joy.  These are the parts when everyone watches intently.  These are the moments that are recorded.  People who have let time pass them by are relegated to the role of spectator.  Wishing for what you have.  Life.

Life is your opportunity to show them how it should be done.  Show them.

I want you to remember to value life above all things.  There is not much worth dying for.  I have only found one so far.  I hope that someday you will find that reason too.  You will know it when you see it, and there won't be any doubt of what it is.

I have wanted to do this for a while, but I was afraid.  I was afraid of what people would think.  Then I saw this inspirational video from this 17 year old artist who lives just outside of Cambridge, England.  She reminded me that we only have a short time here, so we better make it worthwhile.  Thank you Frankie.

Hopefully, in the end, there will be a meaningful record of what is important to me.

This site is dedicated to my lovely wife and two beautiful children.

My promise:

It will be honest.
It will be meaningful.
I will never ask you to "please share".
I will do my best to post at least once a week

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Time is a moment of shared experience.  It is another dimension that we all experience but cannot see.

What is Time?

Time can be best imagined by looking at water.  When you drop a stone into a still pond you create ripples.  Our shared experience of time is but a ride on a single ripple.

Which time ripple are we on?  Are there other ripples ahead of us?  Behind us?  Yes, I imagine so.   Just as in the pond analogy, there are surely other ripples of time.  Not of our time.  Which ripple we are riding on, I cannot say.  All the ripples of time make up our universe.

If a ripple of time is impeded by a sufficiently large mass in space, we observe this as a black hole.

Why do I believe this is how time works?

Look around.  You see time functioning this way in the galaxies, in storms, even when you drain the water in your sink.

Shouldn't time function in a way similar to sound and light?  I think it does.

I want you to remember that every action you take is recorded in time.  Every kindness.  Every act of selfishness. Someone is always watching.  It is Time.  When you are done with this time, you will realize how much your time mattered - or didn't.  Make your time matter.  Be kind to others.  Get to know them.  Help them.  Struggle through the hard times, and cherish the good.