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Emotions

11/25/2013

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Emotions record what is important in life.  They are the purest part of you.

How can I learn to control my emotions?  Don't.  If you're sad, cry.  If you're happy, smile.  If you are angry, do something constructive.  Others will try and teach you when, where, and how it is appropriate to exhibit your emotions.  This is wrong.  Feel how you feel, when you are feeling it.  Envy. Jealousy. Anger. These might sound like negative emotions, but they're not.  They are just emotions.  It's what you do with these feelings that matters.

This is the area that I have failed you the most.  Teaching you to "suck-it-up" when you were sad. Telling you to be happy when you were mad.   I remember the day you lost the class election.  You were so upset.  I saw you choking back the tears.  My first inclination was to try to cheer you up.  I reminded you that you didn't expect to win.  I tried to convince you that you were better off.   I'm sorry.  I was misguided.  I understand that now.  You just needed time.

I want you to remember to be honest about how you're feeling.  Your emotions record what is important in life.  Share them with the ones you love.  Your emotions are the closest you will get to the truth.  Emotions can lead you to be incredibly hurtful and destructive, or they can move you to greatness.  It's your choice. Your most important experiences will be emotional ones.  You can recognize them easily.  They will make you laugh and make you cry.  Emotional experiences are a brief glimpse of the truth.  They will stay with you whether you want them to or not.

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Inspiration

11/22/2013

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Inspiration is the seed from which all hope springs.  It arrives when you recognize the truth.

Where can I find inspiration?  Inspiration will come to you in silence.  Find a place to be in silence.

Inspiration is fleeting, so grab on to it with both hands before it is lost to distraction.  Write it down.  Paint it. Film it.  Dance it.  Do whatever you can to capture it.  

Some of my fondest memories are of watching you create.  Whether is was watching you cook, creating a duct tape wallet for your friends, or spending hours on a Halloween costume. I enjoyed it even though I had no idea what was driving you.  Only you knew.

I want you to remember to listen to your little voice inside.  Particularly when it seemingly appears from nowhere.  It is there to help you, teach you, guide you.  Your little voice may be telling you it's time to do a mundane chore.  It may be telling you to be kind to a stranger.  It may be telling you to create something that will inspire millions one day.  If you follow your heart and act on inspiration, you will find success.

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Education

11/17/2013

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Education is what others give to you so that you may learn from their experience.

What education should I pursue?  Not all education is good.  Society may provide you an education so that you have the basic building blocks to contribute.  Unfortunately, it often becomes about spewing back the "right" answers rather than pursuing the truth.  If you pursue the truth and ask the right questions, you won't have to worry about finding the best educational institution.  They will find you.

Before you seek an education from others, be sure to ask yourself what the answer is.  It doesn't mean that you're always right, but if you don't already believe in something you're more likely to fall for anything.  If what they are offering doesn't sound right, keep asking questions.  The universe is full of half truths.  Education may broaden your perspective or it may narrow it.  Education may open doors and bring you wealth and social status, but leave you feeling empty and questioning your choices.

I remember one day before school you were tired and frustrated.  You said "Why do I have to learn all of this stuff anyway?  It's not like it's useful information."  You were right.  But rather than tell you so, I began giving one of my pep talks about how your education is what you make of it.  "Your education can be a dull drudgery, or the best experience of your life.  Choose fantastic!" I exclaimed.  This was not a lie, but a half truth at best.

I want you to remember to pursue an education from those who are succeeding in your eyes.   Take all the education that is offered to you, and then some,   But never forget that it's the truth that really matters.   Your best education, and the rewards that come with it, will always come from pursing the truth and helping others.

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Maturity

11/14/2013

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Maturity comes from your experience.  You are where you are.  Embrace it.

How will I know when I have reached maturity? Part of maturity is learning that it's not all about you. It's not about having the right answers, it's more about pursuing the right questions. 

From the day you were born you have been pursuing the truth.  No one had to teach you to search for it.  You just did.  You came equipped with all of the experiences of those who came before you.  All of their emotional experiences recorded in your genes.  There are many who have tried to guide you in this journey.  Some with good intentions.  Some with bad. Some with no intentions at all.  We called this guidance your education.  Even though my intentions were usually good, I failed miserably at times .  My motivation was mostly out of my need to protect you.  You will understand this if you become a parent one day.

I want you to remember to cherish where you currently are in life.  Don't try to rush your maturity.  There are many wonderful experiences ahead of you.  Many I haven't had.  Skipping ahead in a rush to maturity will leave you feeling empty and pursuing lost opportunity.

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Perspective

11/11/2013

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Perspective is the world through your eyes.  Your perspective is based on your experience.  It's what you see, hear, smell, taste and most importantly how you feel.

How do I know if I have the right perspective?

There is no "right" perspective.  Only perspective.  Your perspective will become richer as you gain experience, however it is dangerous to equate your perspective with the truth.  Regardless of the amount of experience you have, regardless of how much education you have, regardless how close you come, never be arrogant enough to say you possess the truth. The truth exists, but you only have perspective.

I remember the day you came home from school and told me about a girl in your your class who thought 1 + 1 should equal eleven.  You were quite proud of the fact that you knew this not to be the case.  Your experience had taught you that the answer to the equation was in fact two.  But what did that knowledge give you?  After discussing it for a while, you began to appreciate how someone else could see it that way.  You gained perspective.

I want you to remember to value your own perspective and share it with the ones you love - even if it hurts.  They will know that you are motivated by love.  They will know it's because you care.  They will know that you have their back.  They will know that you're on their side.  You may not have the full picture.  You may even be wrong.  Even so, holding back your perspective  will only lead to regret.

For those you know less well, be cautious about offering your perspective.  Even if others ask for it.  You will find that they are often more interested in sharing theirs.

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Success

11/8/2013

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Success is not wealth.  Success is not fame.  Wealth and admiration only serve to destroy your inspiration and lead you to believe you are more important than you really are.

How can I be successful?  Ask questions.  Listen to your little  voice inside.  It is there to guide you toward success and away from danger.

The greatest achievement in my my life is you.  The joy you bring to me is beyond measurement.  My most joyful memories of you are the small things.  The times where you showed me the simplest answer to a problem I was having.  Like the time I was trying to configure a way for the dog to eat while he was wearing his protective cone.  He had been licking his paw to the point it was raw.  I was trying to create an elevated bowl so that his cone would fit around it.  It wasn't working.  I knew he was very hungry but he resisted my solution.  You walked up to me and said "Why don't you just take off the cone while he eats?"  I bursted out laughing.  Of course, I thought.  He won't be licking his paw if he is eating.

I want you to remember to always keep your focus on your work, not the rewards.  Pursue the truth.  Others may love you.  Others may hate you.  You may be showered with rewards.  You may not be.  Understand that you do not need wealth and admiration to be happy.  You will likely be happier with less.  So use whatever gifts that do come your way to help others.  Success is helping others.

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Fear

11/5/2013

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Fear can save your life or render it meaningless.

How do I know when to be afraid?  Never fear pursuing the truth.  If your motives are pure, no harm will come.

I remember one day we were at the bike park learning new skills.  I wanted you to try something I thought was relatively simple, but you refused.  You were afraid.  I didn't understand why.  It was easy, I thought.  "Come on, don't be such a chicken", I said.  "Nope", you replied, handing me your bike.  "Okay", I said.  "You want me to show you?".  My first attempt resulted in failure, and my second resulted in a blown-out calf muscle that took a month to heal.   You saw that I was hurt and felt bad,  "Don't", I said.  "You were right".  It was a painful lesson for me, but one that never made me feel more proud of you.

I want you to remember to choose hope over fear. Pursue what is in your heart, even if you don't understand why. When it comes to fear, value the perspective of those you love, but still listen to that little voice inside.  Don't worry about making mistakes along the way.  You will make mistakes and you will learn from them.  The worse thing you can do is stop trying.


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    My name is David.  I created FathersWeek.com as a place I could leave a written record for my children - not to provide answers, but to encourage the pursuit of the right questions.

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