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Judgment

10/14/2013

5 Comments

 
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Judgments allow us to make decisions.  We all judge.  We are all judged.

Can I avoid judging others? Nobody likes to think of themselves as being judgemental, but we are.  Some of our judgments are positive, some negative. Whether it is conscious or not, you are making decisions every second of every day.  Whether it's about what to do with your time, or deciding who you respect, there are a myriad of issues you judge.

You can be taught to hate, or learn to love.  Your judgements will come from your experience and education.

I know you've felt the pain of judgment.  I remember the day you told me you were not in the popular group.  I can't remember what we discussed, but you worked through it with dignity and respect.  I'm sure it was painful for you, but pain is an important part of growth.  I am impressed with how you handled it.  

I want you to remember that it is okay to judge.  Just understand that everything around us is in motion, including your perspective. Judge yourself first.  Pursue the truth.  Do not be deterred by the judgments of others.  Be accepting.

5 Comments
Anonymous
2/17/2014 12:09:42 am

Excellent post. Just to add to your thoughts, I think that another crucially important idea that is closely related to this is being nonjudgmental of others. Often we are too influenced by first impressions we receive or biases that we have due to stereotypes. In life it is important to try to see beyond these things, as they often obscure truth. Please keep the posts coming!

Reply
David
2/17/2014 03:30:33 am

Yes, of course. Racism, sexism, and all stereotyping has taken its toll on various groups, and it certainly can obscure the truth. As you suggest, you deny yourself the opportunity to discover who these people, places, things really are. It also reinforces the negative perception of the individual/group that is being victimized.

But have we taken this too far? I've caught myself saying "Don't judge" to my children, but is that really the message I want to send? Does it cause confusion?

I do want them to prejudge certain dangerous situations. I do want them accept certain visual and non-visual cues. It's difficult. I guess, in the end, we take in all of these conflicting messages and come to our own determination of when it is appropriate to judge.

I'm glad you raised this, because people can misconstrue what I am saying. I don't want it to be interpreted as condoning hatred in anyway. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Reply
David
2/19/2014 11:25:14 pm

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I agree with you. I have added a sentence to the end of the post. Your feedback means a lot to me.

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Anonymous
3/4/2014 06:43:10 am

Are there more posts coming?

Reply
David
3/4/2014 07:00:24 am

Yes, thank you for the continued interest.

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    My name is David.  I created FathersWeek.com as a place I could leave a written record for my children - not to provide answers, but to encourage the pursuit of the right questions.

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